Man cannot live on power bars alone. Yeah? Tell that to the billion dollar industry that has given the chocolate bar the best damn facelift in history (barring Katharine Chancellor’s on-camera visit to the OR on The Young & The Restless, circa 1984). Talk about dystopia! Originally, the concept of the protein shake, the power bar and even vitamin water had me a little confused: Why not consume protein and vitamins in the form of, say, food? And do people actually need help getting enough fat? Being the professional nibbler than I am, the idea of getting all your nutrition in just a few bites terrified me, but with healthy flavors like cookie-dough-caramel-crisp (actual flavor) and cookies and cream I thought I’d give ‘em a try. So here I am chewing on a chocolate mint brick, in the name of science, when my showy-teenage-consume-whatever-they-damn-well-please boys tell me they’re not for mommies. Apparently they don’t think I need to bulk out. Anymore. Who needs skinny jeans from high school to mess with your self-esteem when you’ve got teenage psychics on the payroll?